get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
