a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
