Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
