i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize