You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
