On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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