I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
