wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Did I show you my penis last night?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize