so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
