I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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