i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
