I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
