I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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