I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
