When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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