I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
