Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
We need to get me chipped asap
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
