She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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