I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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