is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
do nipples grow back?
Randomize