haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize