i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
