Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
