Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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