I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Do you remember whose house we're in?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
