What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
