Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
