PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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