She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Randomize
