ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
