I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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