shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
