I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
