it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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