If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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