I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
