My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
