my mouth tastes like poor choices
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
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