the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize