So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
