Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
