Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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