remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
