I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Randomize
