And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
