In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
