Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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