just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
