never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
