So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
If its not for food we ain't going out.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
