talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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