I'm going to jail i love you
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize