you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
