ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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