And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
