i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
