yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
