just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
