so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Randomize
