On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize