I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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