Small penises have feelings too.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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