so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
