At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
