I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
