paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Girls should come with a carfax report
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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