I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
