i may or may not be watching the land before time
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
