i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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