Do you still have your period?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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