Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
