Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Small penises have feelings too.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize