i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
