; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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