Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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